#AllTheHowQuestions

“A” and I are two very, very different people, but who have very, very similar passions. “A” is the extrovert to my introvert, but my naturally high energy helps me to meet him at that extroverted level. “A” uses a small strip of paper with a flow chart to preach his sermons, and I have a full-blown manuscript, but both of us care deeply for challenging and pushing the church to grow in different ways. “A” can lead overarching visioning in his sleep, and I love talking about the nit-picky details. “A” can always see the big picture with the help of his many spreadsheets, and I have big ideas that I want us to start doing RIGHT NOW…and always end up needing “A” and his spreadsheets to present the realistic time frame. “A”’s big question that he’s always asking is, “Why?”, and my question that I’m always asking is a variation on, “So what? /How?”

Perhaps it will come as no surprise then that a) our launching with my first blog (here) and “A’s” blog held in conversation (here) resulted in my “I have things I want to say and I want to say them RIGHT NOW,” and b) “A” graciously being 100% on board, but saying, “Ok, so we’ve started this thing, but now people keep asking, ‘so what is this you’re doing’?”

So, we’re doing this in our very “A” and Rachel way: “A” is answering the Whys (here), and I’m answering the Hows.

First question: how did all of this come to fruition?

For me, it all started while sitting on the floor one night during Montreat’s College Conference. “A” and I had been working together for almost 6 months by that point in time, and it was through our conversation about the college students that I had 2 revelations. First: “A” cared about these students [almost] as much as I do. Second: I didn’t have to do this ministry work alone. I could let him in, not just as a co-worker, but as a friend as well. (The fabulous running joke is that while it took 6 months of working with “A” day in and day out, it took one lunch date between me and his wife for me to decide we were going to officially become family.)

When you decide to be vulnerable and let people into your life, you’re also embracing change—in your patterns, habits, ways of thinking, and how you live life. By deciding to share and trust doing ministry together, conversations changed. Ideas started being hatched. New ways of working together were made possible. But it is a gradual change, one that is dependent upon doing life together. Ideas of writing a book together came about after “A” and I had gone on a youth mission trips and conferences and a college retreat. Ideas of starting a podcast or vlog came about while leading a college mission trip in Guatemala and having theological talks and discussions over dinner.

The ideas have been building, the talk of “we should do X” has been ongoing, but after our conversation while out walking pushed me to write that first blog post, it was the game changer. It was the “we’re not just going to talk about this anymore—we’re going to do this, we’re going to actually start taking all these ideas we’ve been talking and dreaming about over the past year and a half and attempt to implement one or two or a hundred of them.” (OK, the hundred of them is a total Rachel comment. I’m sure “A” has another more realistic number here.)

Second question: how is this all going to come together?

I really have no idea. What I do know, is that “A” and I are both on the same page, in that we want to take this SLOW (which feels so unnatural for me, but is a season God has called me to). We want to be intentional and thoughtful with each step. We’re open to trying things, to failing, to coming up with a new game plan. What we’re most definitely doing is talking, sharing anxieties, and discerning, “so what’s the best next step?”

Both of us have felt like a natural next step has been creating a Facebook page, but not only a Facebook page where we can keep people up to date, but also create a group within that page to invite others to join us in conversation. To hear people’s questions—questions that we’re oftentimes told shouldn’t be asked. Questions we’re afraid to utter. Questions we’ve been dying to ask. “A” and I want to talk about them and want to create a safe space for people to discuss them, so our prayer is that the group, “Home & Belonging” would be such a place.

Final question: how do you know this won’t fail—that this is even what you’re supposed to be doing?

We don’t, but we’ve both come to the conclusion that we’d hate ourselves for not trying, for not taking that chance. Because the more powerful question, the one that burns brighter and deeper than the fear that this might fail, that it might go nowhere, that we hit a dead-end, is this: how can we not take this risk? How can we ignore this amazing energy that just seems to jive when we start talking about things together? How can we ignore how we’re so different, and yet we have such similar passions? “A” has the list of things where our passion for ministry, life, and faith all collide, but for me, it’s all about the drive. It’s all about how the words we say ignite others and start up conversations I don’t want to end. It’s about the stories people bring and the dialogue that is shared across tables. It’s all about wild hand gestures and flailing arm movements and choked up voices so desperate to be heard, be seen, and be known.

Deep down, my heart of hearts and soul of souls longs to know and be known. There’s a reason why I told my sister when I was a senior in college that I wanted to get paid to “drink coffee with people and hear their stories.” This step, this endeavor with “A”, this is just another chance to hear people’s stories. Because people so desperately want to be heard. There’s a reason why on Instagram, the Insta-story option of “Ask me a question” had such a massive swing: it gave people a reason to share themselves, to share their stories, to ask the hard questions.

There are stories “A” and I want to share. There are stories we want to hear. There are questions we want to ask and have asked of us. There are conversations we want to partake in. But we can’t do this alone. Life is not meant to be done alone, and this ministry we’re risking and stepping forward in all its faith and intentionality, needs people to dare to join within. Take a look at our Facebook page, and if you’re looking for a place and a space to share your stories, to ask those hard questions, to know and be known, I hope you’ll join our group “Home and Belonging.” We chose these two words because the resonate with our core, and have deep meaning to us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But that’s a story for another blog :)

I hope you’re willing to join in the adventure, with all its bumps and imperfections, because maybe, just perhaps, this could lead somewhere beyond the two of us and start changing the world. And that, beloved, that is always worth it.